Sighted: A new subspecies? :-)
Over the past week or so, I may have sighted a new subspecies of the California maroon!
I have written definitively, but not exhaustively, about these folks on CA highways.
I use the term “maroon” because “moron” is a derogatory term.
Maroon is a “cartoon” term! 😉
I have not yet compiled my “field guide.” I keep finding new types!
The natural habitat of this potentially new subspecies of the California maroon is on I-580, between Livermore and Dublin/Pleasanton exits. Although the subspecies varies in plumage from Mercedes Benz to Toyota Corolla (a smaller but equally engaging variety), the subspecies can be recognized by the fact that it is driving about 40-45 miles/hour in an area with a speed limit of 65 (a mere “suggestion” in California 
) and that it leaves about 200 to 500 yards of empty space in the lane in front of it (and MILES of bumper-to-bumper cars stacked up BEHIND it, unable to pass)! I usually see MORE individuals of this subspecies when I am on my motorcycle than when I am in my automobile, because, when I am on FOUR wheels, I am usually bogged down in bumper-to-bumper traffic BEHIND these maroons!
Today alone, I saw THREE of these maroons, in the span of 15 minutes during the morning commute! 😉 One was of Toyota Corolla plumage; one was of the domestic pickup truck variety, and a third was of the 18-wheeled coloration. The last type may have been moving slowly and leaving about 300 yards of empty space in front of it to avoid KILLING some of the OTHER types of maroons on that stretch of highway!
I have learned that I am not the only one interested in the slow-moving, “leave-football-fields-worth-of-space” subspecies of maroon, however. One particular morning, I saw a California Highway Patrol (CHP) officer on a motorcycle PULL OVER one of these maroons for driving TOO SLOWLY in the “number 1” lane (that is the left-most lane to you non-Californians)!
Hopefully, the maroon was ticketed, tagged, and released to a safer environment than the California Interstate Highway system, where it could be easily hurt.
If you see one of these maroons on I-580 in the morning, HONK your appreciation at seeing a new and fascinating subspecies!
-Bill at
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